Skip to main content

20 tahun

Aku masih belum genap 20 tahun. Ada lagi berbaki beberapa bulan.
Itupun masih belum pasti, mana tahu nyawa ditarik Ilahi.

Seingat aku, masa aku dalam umur belasan tahun,masih beruniform sekolah.
Aku yang paling tak sabar mahu dewasa dan aku paling teruja bila bercakap soal dewasa.

Hari ini,dengan masa yang masih berbaki untuk ke 20 tahun.....
aaahh berkecamuknya hati aku, kalau bisa ditadah sudah berbaldi air mata aku.

.............................................................

maaf bagi yang membaca, itupun kalau ada.
kerana kebanyakan yang ada pada aku hanya mahu tutup mata dan telinga

aku mahu jelaskan disini,aku juga manusia biasa
mana mungkin hampir dua abad aku hidup
hari-hari aku ketawa tanpa berduka.

aku harus berhenti menaip sekarang,sebelum segalanya terhambur disini.
Ya Rabb kuatkan aku.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Social Media Detox

It was all started about a month ago, life was crazy at that time, one submission after another, school had a series of events before the academic year ended and I was freaking tired. To cut the story short, I randomly uninstalled my social media applications on my phone and dang I think I said it few months ago to go social media free by the end of this year. I haven't reached to that point yet, still scrolling down Twitter before I sleep but I am off Instagram and Facebook for quite some time already. There are times I feel like yknow reinstall those apps again but man my 24 years old brain cannot even remember the password. But LET ME TELL YOU I feel much calmer, less insecure and no unnecessary sakit kepala! Thanks to my forgetful mind, I stop checking on social media every 2 hours, scrolling down people's feed or timeline(whom I don't even know) and putting the pressure on myself (because I haven't achieved what people have). It's true lah afte...

MAK CIK SARIAH

My addmath teacher when I was in highschool told me "Be significant, wherever you go." My 16-year-old brain couldn't understand that of course, too young too dumb to realize. I thought what she meant was for me to be the best in whatever I do, be kind you know leave mark wherever I go. Just that, I couldn't see the impact of being significant. Well, that's not technically wrong, it's just I didn't understand the purpose of being significant at that time. Being me, I need reasons to do things. You need to tell me WHY before you ask me to DO.  Until one day I heard my favourite makcik kantin in my primary school passed away. She was one of the highlights during primary school - she put on a smile every time she saw me, she didn't have much but that didn't stop her from giving, best makcik kantin ever! That's when I realised - one of the importance of being significant in your life does not only for this world but for the hereafter, imagine...

Death end road.

It may look like a death end road, things beyond this junction are too blurry thus it makes those who want to try walking pass that stop feel eerie, but I will pick up piece by piece of my courage to step on the thorny path, because I need to. Things are going to be tough, it will be a living hell but I have had enough of this pain, I’m not going to live with this pain supressed to every inch of my rib. Not anymore. I’m going to outlive this pain. Hasbunallah Wani’mal Wakeel Ni’mal maula wannikman Nasir. “Sufficient for us is Allah, and [He is] the best Disposer of affairs.”